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The Boston Market Story

Sacagawea on a Stick tops minister's 'Warped Toy' list

This story is embargoed until Ted Williams bats .400 . . . Celsius

2000 Numismatology News Service

   HACKENSACK, N.J. -- The playthings on Rev. Christopher "Ken" Rose's "warped toy" list have gotten more gruesome.

    When he first began compiling the annual list more than a decade ago, Rose targeted toys that featured mostly mucous and vomit.  These days, he takes aim at toys that feature far, far worse.

    "At first I thought this was going to be a better year," said Rose, the rector at Grace Episcopal Church in Hackensack.  "I was wrong."

    Topping Rose's list, published in the Herald Noose, is Sacagawea on a Stick, by Reiter Toys. The action game follows explorers Lewis and Clark across hill and dale as they blaze a trail not to the West Coast but to a reservation populated by cannibals. Players win a Sacagawea dollar if they reach the finish line with their heads still on.

    Toys on the list are items Rose considers exploitative, stereotypical, age inappropriate and/or graphically violent.  Most of the toys carry labels that say they are appropriate for children older than 5 and are available at most toy stores.

    Rose started compiling his list in 1986 after he wandered into a toy store searching for something for his son, now age 36.

    Another toy making the list was the Young People's Rotisserie Chicken Spit, made by Boston Market and Creative Playthings.  The toy is designed to teach toddlers how to make a rotisserie chicken by placing rubber chickens on a spit and then placing them in a rotisserie oven.  However, several toddlers have skewered their baby brothers or sisters, said Creative Plaything spokesman Paul Lapidus.

    Yet another warped Christmas toy, Rose said, is Texas Bonfire Barbie, dressed as a cheerleader while a 40-foot pile of Lego logs topples onto her boyfriend Ken.  What is really warped about this item, Rose said, is that hit has absolutely nothing to do with Boston Market.

    Rounding out the Top Four on Rose's list is Coupon Clipping Ed, a windup doll with a large scissors that attacks Sunday newspapers and leaves a string of bankrupt supermarkets and Boston Market franchises in its wake.  Rose warned of a national shortage of turkeys  this Christmas if the supermarkets repeat their Thanksgiving promotion of giving away a free turkey with every $150 spent.  Coupon Clipping Ed scored 867 twenty pound Butterballs this holiday season while spending only $27.50.

 AP - 1604-29-42

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