Uh-oh, it's . . .
The Boston Market Story
Free agent Sacagibathea may sign with Yankees
By ED "CC" RIDER
BRONXNOTHONXENSACK, N.Y. -- (Special to heraldnewsrecordofnorthernnewjerseyetc.com) -- The New York Yankees have offered pitcher B.B. Sacagibathea a record $130 million to sign with them for six years, the heraldnewsrecordofnorthernetcetera reported on its web site.
Sacagibathea had a 3-12 record and a 14.2 earned run average with the Hackensack Trolls of the North Jersey River League last season before being called up by the Milwaukee Brewers where he pitched brilliantly in the home run derby. He finished 827th in the balloting for the Cy Young award, ahead of only John McKen and Sarah Palin.
Asked if he didn't mean to sign 2007 Cy Young Award winner C.C. Sabathia, Yankees general partner Hank Steinbrenner said, "Uh-oh, I hope Hal doesn't hear about this."
"Give me that pen," said Sacagibathea.
Meanwhile, Mets general manager Omar Vinaya planned to wade into the free agent waters as well. "I like Teixeira, except when Jim Cornelius expects me Teixeira bucket of fried chicken because all he leaves me is the wings," Vinaya told heraldnewsrecordetcetera mojo Evonne Coutros-Coutros-Ghali at the Boston Market on River Street.
"Wait a minute," Sacagibathea said. "This isn't a check for $130 million. It's a coupon good for two dollars off on 65 million rotisserie turducken dinners with two side dishes at Boston Market."
"That sounds like 130 million to me," Steinbrenner said.
"But this coupon has expired," Sacagibathea said. "Wait until Hal hears about this."
"Oh Haaaaank," a soothing voice from nearby said. "Give me the coupon Haaaaank."
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Chickie says, Why did Taco Bell put Welsh Rabbit on the menu?*
*Because it was thinking outside the bunny.